Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion: An Absurdly Charming Little Zelda Clone
So this is a game where a juvenile turnip deals with an old-head shakedown artist, fights battles in a top-down Zelda-esque manner, and tears up bills and letters during occasional fits of rage. That’s a sentence I never thought I’d write. And not only does all of that sound absurd—which it totally is—but it’s also totally engaging as well. Let’s dive in to see whether there is a quality experience behind all of this bizarre theater of the vegetable claptrap...
As mentioned, the hero here is a turnip, the mayor is a crusty old onion who wears a monocle that would make Mr. Peanut envious, and the rest of the motley crew of garden variety characters found in developer Snoozy Kazoo’s Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion is made up of blueberries, strawberries, carrots, snails, potatoes, radishes, etc. If any of this sounds fun and weird to you, you’d be correct on both accounts.
In terms of gameplay, it's a simple action/adventure RPG based on the elegant The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past gameplay mechanics, but in terms of content, the title deliberately goes somewhat overboard: On the surface, Turnip Boy is coerced to work as an assistant for the mayor because he is up to his neck (well, if he actually had a neck...) in tax debt. The elderly onion politician sends him on errands across the suitably colorful game world, but at the same time valid questions bubble under the surface.
What does this haughty mayor need all this stuff for? What role does Turnip Boy’s late father play in the grand scheme of things? And what the heck is up with the quirky lemon man who seems to just hang out pretty much uninvolved with the proceedings? Beyond the intriguing main plot, there’s also an array of sidequests to follow. You can help a rogue pickle escape from his jar, bring carrot and cherry children back to their caregivers, or retrieve a student's cell phone that was dropped (accidentally?) down a ravine without first entering the PIN/password code, of course.
All of that is well and good, but the true stars of the game are its characters—and their pithy comments. While Turnip Boy always remains silent in the dialogue (his only responses being “???” “!!!” or “...”), the other fruit and vegetable people have a good deal to say, and it is typically funny and extremely absurd. An angry noodle named Mac (based on a popular copypasta—hence why he is a noodle) even insults and threatens Turnip Boy in the most ridiculous way without any provocation whatsoever: “You're freaking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in seven hundred different ways, and that’s just with my bare hands!”
On top of all this comedic relief, you can collect some cute hats for Turnip Boy, use the dodge “button” to trip on purpose, and track down a few other outlandish items to use. For example, with a pilfered watering can, you can grow bomb flowers, which Turnip Boy kicks away as if he were good ol’ Bomberman blowing up enemies and doors.
As mentioned at the outset, the pixelated stylings, the 2D top-down overworld with houses and caves, and the combat mechanics are reminiscent of the great action adventure games of my youth (and many other peoples’ youths as well): The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past or Link's Awakening, for those who hung in with the Game Boy love (although the 2019 Switch remake was rather excellent as well). Turnip Boy strikes like Link, chops the grass/bushes like Link, enters houses and dungeons like Link, and takes on grim end-of-level guardians in locked boss rooms like Link.
All of this is neither imaginative nor particularly clever in 2022, but it works well across the board. As comedian and filmmaker Woody Allen once quipped: “If you're going to steal, steal from the best!” The only thing you can fault Snoozy Kazoo for is the fact that Turnip Boy’s overall adventure is much shorter and simpler than those Nintendo classics. I had hardly traversed the game world and its few small dungeons and completed a few quests, and the endgame was already in sight. After about three hours or so, the last boss was sleeping with the fishes, and there wasn’t much to do beyond that except to find all the chapeaus I hadn't collected yet.
Collecting heart containers made my special veggie lad stronger as the game progressed, but other than that there's really no RPG-like development and inventory management to be found in Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion. Fortunately, you can swap out your weapon during battles using the weapon button, but the tutorial doesn't mention this for some odd reason. Collected documents, (e.g., letters, deeds, or bills), can be effectively torn up at the touch of the screen—a small, but infinitely amusing act of anarchism, a stamp of Turnip Boy's rebellion against the authorities. However, there is no effect on the gameplay at all when this is done, and in view of the game’s title, I found that a tad disappointing. I mean, at least license a suitably angry Rage Against the Machine track to play in the background when this happens...
Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion is an excellent experience with razor sharp comedy writing that unabashedly stands on the very broad shoulders of a couple undisputed classics. And, hey, even the touch controls (instead of a gamepad) manage to stay out of their own way here...and that’s saying something. If only it was just a bit longer—if it was a bit more of an expansive experience, then we might be looking at a new classic on the same level as the giants it looks up to.
SCORE: 4 STARS OUT OF 5
PLAY IF YOU LIKE:
• The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past or The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening. Give Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion a whirl if the aforementioned Zelda titles are your bag.
• Ocean’s Heart. Also check out what’s happening in Turnip Boy if you dig longer, more thoughtful experiences akin to Ocean’s Heart.
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