This Is Not a Game Review - There Is No Game Jam Edition Review

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Hi there. I’m not sure what brought you here or what could possibly have convinced you to click on this link, but before you read any further, I want to make one thing clear: This is not a game review. You may have been fooled by the word “review” being attached to what appears to be a game name at the end of the headline. Common mistake. But if you’re here looking for an informed opinion about a game that you may then choose to download and play, I’m sorry to say that you came to the wrong place.

Feel free to move along.

Hm. Still here, huh?

I can tell that you’re looking for more thoughts about a game—perhaps one titled There Is No Game Jam Edition. I sympathize with you, and I desperately wish I could provide you with anything useful here. However, this is not a game review. If it were a game review, I might start with some information to provide context.

I could tell you, for example, about how Pascal Cammisotto, a French developer, first created There Is No Game for a 2015 game jam for the popular Flash gaming site Newgrounds. I could go on to explain how the clever game he created blew up and quickly hit over a million downloads on Google Play alone. That’s the kind of anecdote that would serve as a great opener for a game review.

Alas, this is not a game review.

I’ve noticed that you’re still scrolling. Maybe you’re enjoying the images? Please note that these are not screenshots from a game, as something like that would really only make sense in a game review, which this article is not.

How can I convince you that what you’re reading is not a game review? Well, here’s one thing: If this were a game review, I’d probably talking about the game. I’d be speaking at length about how There Is No Game provides a quick but engaging experience of around twenty minutes, and how it constantly toys with player expectations, and how it made me laugh with its goofy, fourth-wall-breaking, almost Portal-esque narrator. Those are the types of subjects I’d delve into in a game review, and as I have not done so here, you can rest assured that what you are reading is, in fact, not a game review.

Here’s another thing: If this were a game review (and that’s a very big if, because as I have conclusively demonstrated, it is not a game review), at just about this point in the writing process I would be thinking to myself, “Darn, only four hundred words. I need to figure out a way to stretch this out a little; it should really be at least a couple hundred more.” And then I would invent some absurd, unnecessary aside just to pad the word count. That’s the kind of thing that happens in game reviews, and, well... You don’t see that happening here, do you?

Besides, we all know that game reviews are contractually obligated to mention certain things. If this were a game review, it would be my legal responsibility to bring up certain subjects, such as the simple but effective pixel art graphics of There Is No Game, as well as the limited use of extremely catchy music and how I wish there had been more of it. I don’t make the rules, folks. Those are the things that game reviews require. Just one of a myriad of reasons why this is not a game review.

I wish I was writing a game review right now. I should be so lucky. It would be infinitely easier for me to be writing a game review, because then I could effuse about how everyone owes it to themselves to try out There Is No Game Jam Edition, especially since it’s completely free-to-play and takes less than half an hour to play. There’s really nothing to lose, I might suggest. And for readers of this hypothetical game review I’m imagining who end up enjoying Jam Edition, I might point them towards There Is No Game: Wrong Dimension, calling it a lengthier and more in-depth exploration of the same clever themes and ideas introduced in the tiny game jam product.

In a game review, all those pieces would come together in a neat bow, and that would be that. Mission accomplished.

Sadly, this is not a game review.

NOT A SCORE: 5 STARS OUT OF 5

DO NOT PLAY IF YOU LIKE:

• Metafiction and postmodern art. If this were a game review for There Is No Game Jam Edition, I’d certainly recommend the game to readers who enjoy books, movies, plays, and other games that reference themselves as creative works and play with the conventions of their respective mediums.

• Portal. Portal is one of the rare examples of comedy working in games. If this were a game review, I might suggest that There Is No Game Jam Edition pulls on a very similar style of humor and is quite successful as well.

💬 Do you wish that this had been a game review? If it had been, you could have perhaps shared your thoughts on the game in the comment, or perhaps told me your favorite comedic games. A real missed opportunity. Dang.

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